it has to be said.

After that warm and fuzzy post about Christmas, i have to write about something that bothers me to no end.

The song.

"The Christmas Shoes"

If you've never heard of it, feel blessed. In fact, assume that you have been blessed once for every time they play it anywhere on the radio. That would make it a ba-jillion times you have received this specific blessing.

Now, before you accuse me of being a terrible person for hating on the little boy who wants to buy shoes for his dying-perhaps-already-dead mother, I will list my grievances. (I assume by the nature of this song that the mother is on her death bed, seeing as the crooner emphasizes that she might "meet Jesus tonight.")

1. It was written specifically for the purpose of making people cry. According to Wikipedia "In Tom Reynolds 2006 book I Hate Myself and Want to Die: The 52 Most Depressing Songs You've Ever Heard, he names "The Christmas Shoes" as the most depressing song in modern recorded music history." Tom Reynolds is now my favorite author.

2. The song implies that the boy loves his mother, but only thinks that Jesus finds her beautiful when she is wearing new shoes.

3. Why isn't the little boy WITH his DYING MOTHER? I mean honestly. She could be all alone, by herself, and he's buying her shoes that she'll maybe never see. It might be just me, but when i'm dying i would like my little boy with me every moment possible. the end.

4. I must agree with The Jolly Porter on everything he says in this post. (do read, very funny)

5. Where did the children's choir come from? My word, if that doesn't make me cry it's because i'm cringing, writhing on the ground, or grinding my teeth.

Now all of you who look forward to this song every five minutes probably think i'm a terrible person. But just you wait until i do a post on how I feel about LDS Fiction (novels)! *shudder* (btw, i do not think less of any of you who like it. i do not judge people by what they read in their leisure time. just don't expect me to have read the latest jack weyland or gerald lund, ok?) For those of you unacquainted with this genre, please don't worry about it. All you need to know is that I don't like it all that much.

I also hate Thomas Hardy. But that's because the man had no heart or soul.