The Biebs

Today I was looking at the Daily Deals at Target and I found something that I just KNOW you've been wanting and looking for:

http://www.target.com/Justin-Bieber-Singing-Doll-Lonely/dp/B004437O26/ref=sc_qi_detaillink


Never say never - you may just pray that he'll never let you go with that voice of his. And you know you want to admire that hair all day.

Progress.

We got the new camera! It will be so nice to have such a fast shutter speed. These boys just don't have time to hold still. I've been snapping pictures like crazy and I hope to get up a couple sometime this weekend. As soon as Brian sets things up on the computer. And shows me how easy it is to work it all.

I've been trying a new approach to parenting with Alan. He's been fighting this whole 'sleep' thing for a long time now. We had a terrible time the last couple of weeks. And then in my google searches of desperation I came across a website that changed my outlook. I don't even know what I typed into the search engine. I'm just grateful I found it.

All twelve features are found in my adorable little boy. Everything written just spoke to me. I researched further in Dr Sears' website and the more I learned about a high needs baby, the more I realized that my approach was wrong for Alan. I was too tense and anxious about things and he was feeding off of my vibes and becoming the same way. Naptime was a fight. He woke up every two hours at night. I'm not going to do everything the man recommends, as obviously everybody is not textbook-exact in their needs. But it was a huge moment of enlightening.

Alan is not going to react the way Sean did to things. With Sean I could put him is his crib and he'd fall asleep. With Alan I'm finding that we have to have a wind-down time before I should even attempt putting him down for a nap. Brian can't rough house with him and then put him in bed. Rough trial last night, it went so well. He had no trouble falling asleep. Fantastic!

Now, I'm not saying that all of our sleep troubles are behind us, but I have found myself completely accepting of his moods. If he is done playing, I pick him up. As soon as he acts fussy, I put him to bed. I don't refuse him the comfort he needs even if it's inconvenient. And so far today, things have been going SO SO SO much better.

Then again Sean is at my in-laws' house today, which is allowing Alan to not get overstimulated.

I really hope this works.

I have failed at blogging. I have a few drafts written up but I can't decide if I should publish them due to their sensitive and very personal nature. I might make another blog for that stuff so I can just get it out there and people who want to read it can, and also in an effort to reach out to others going through the same thing as myself.

We ordered a DSLR camera so I'm thinking that pictures will be taken more often and maybe even shared on here. It will be nice to have pictures that aren't blurry of my two very active boys. I don't think they hold still until they pass out in their beds at night. (Except Alan, he's not much for sleeping. Ever.)

In recent weeks I've been called at the 2nd Counselor in the Relief Society Presidency of my ward. So far it's been going well. I like the ladies I will be working with and it will be nice to get to know more people. I'm especially excited to have more opportunity to serve the people around me, to better know their needs and be able to fulfill some of them. Some things are overwhelming to me, but mostly I see this as exciting and a good way to keep busy and social.

There's been a lot of tumultuous family stuff going on lately. Many much drama. I think it has gotten out of control on one side, but I guess somebody's got to be making a crappy thing even more crappy. It's too bad this somebody can't handle keeping me out of it when it has nothing to do with me. Stoopid. Someday I'll expound, I just don't feel like it right now. Maybe in a couple of weeks.

Sean has been putting together awesome sentences and speaking what he's thinking and peed in the bathtub this morning. He decided it would be awesome to strip down, plug the drain and 'get 'em the waters out.' It was a proud moment for him and then when I got home from my meeting he demanded ice cream, forgetting that ice cream comes after potty use, not bathtub use. He is also obsessed with wearing these cowboy boots he got from Aunt Christi everywhere - even though they're at least three sizes too big. I think it's cute, until he demands that he get into his carseat by himself with them on. It just does not work.

Alan can now roll over easily and turn his body around, though the latter is not yet on purpose and sometimes he becomes angry that he is no longer facing his toys. He doesn't like to sit through sacrament meeting or Relief Society, or even Sunday School, but he does seem to LOVE going to priesthood meetings with Brian. A little too much. Brian had to take him out today because he kept doing happy squeals and screams. And he's really loud.

While down in Arizona I went to a track meet my sister was running in. She does hurdles. I think she's pretty good. Anyway, she got tired during the long race and fell. My mom told me to take a picture of her on the ground and I naturally declined since I would have been mortified to have that documented of myself (I fall a lot) (without hurdles). But It got me in trouble. Apparently Jordo loves things like that documented. How was I supposed to know? Whatever.  Oh, she also got asked to Prom while I was there. How fun is that?! I finally got to participate in fun things from her high school career. We'll be going down again soon, but I don't think it will be when school is still in session. Maybe next year.

And this month I seem to be going overbudget everywhere I look. I don't know what's coming over me. It's out of control and driving me nuts. And yes, it's barely the middle of the month. Hopefully I'll keep my resolve to do better. I think Brian would appreciate that. I think the spending has a lot to do with refusing to buy things that have anything in it I don't recognize in the ingredients. It gets expensive in the snack area and I've been too tired to make things myself. I guess that's how it goes.

V-Day

Happy Valentine's Day to you all!

I love that this traditional holiday has nothing to do with either Saint it's named after. I also love that the tradition of card-giving began in the Victorian Era. And, as with all Saint-days, has always been celebrated with a feast.

So we're going with tradition this year. Handmade cards and yummy dinner for two (that I'm making), and an avoidance of discussing both St Valentines. I don't expect the poetry those Victorians would spout off left and right, but isn't it nice to have an evening that society expects you to spend with your love?

While it seems en vogue to dislike this day because of Hallmark and flower companies and singledom, I have realized that it's ok to celebrate it however you like. Just so long as you make it about another person and not yourself. Because that's what love is really about.

Though chocolate is always nice, too.

A Direction

So I've been wandering around aimlessly on this blog for about three years now and I think I've finally come to a realization that I need a purpose. I need structure. And I can now say that I feel as though a good direction has come to me.

I will now be writing about whatever I want, whatever I'm feeling, observations I've made. It's a place for my words to come out and express thoughts I'm having. A place for pieces to come together and help my life make a little more sense. And sometimes it might even be a place for Brian to write some random nonsense when he feels I've been a little too biased about something or when he wants to tease me.

I will still have pictures and other such things about my kids and husband, but I'm terrible at uploading pictures. So who knows how often they'll come. Maybe if I figure out Brian's iPhone I'll get more up that way, or if I can somehow con him into doing it for me without him insisting that I learn how to do it.

And I think I'll start labeling stuff. I may as well add organization to this place. Though I will likely not go back and label old posts. We'll see what happens.

As promised

Here is our crazy two-year old.


Here is what he looks like normally - he's always in a silly mood.


Some things we've been hearing from him lately are: 'NO - Sean do it.' 'I push button it' 'fi-were cruck' 'puttin the pants back on' 'mamaw' 'pampaw' 'al-LAN' 'galola bars' and lots of statements he ends with 'huh' because we have to acknowledge everything he says and maybe even agree with it. 'it's Seaner's blanket, huh' or 'that'sa code (cold), huh' are a couple of examples. He loves to identify colors and count to five and wrestle with Alan and Daddy. I have to be careful not to sit on the floor or he thinks that I want to rough him up as well. He's rougher than I am, so I like not getting hurt.

And here is the baby Alan:

He's a lot of fun. Even more so now that I've discover that he's lactose-intolerant and is sensitive to bananas. It's nice to ingest some dairy so long as it's lactose free. This picture is from the 27th of January, so please know that he's gotten chunkier since then. Not huge, but definitely more solid than Sean ever was. Alan is starting to roll over, but mostly just to his side and not all of the way over. He seems to be ok with that. He loves constant interaction and is good at taking naps. Sean is his favorite person and Alan get positively giddy when Sean shows him attention. He also loves to wrestle with Daddy, which is fun for me to watch.

I love my boys. We're having lots of crazy times, but it's worth them making me nuts when they sit and cuddle me or smile in reaction to my playing with them. I might get stuck watching lots of sports for the rest of my life, but their interests are worth my time and involvement. Though I can't wait until the little ones entertain each other in-between little fights.

Hoping for Better

Monday was a Bad Day. I unexpectedly found myself in a situation where I had to explain to someone where they stood with me. I thought I did it as kindly as I could, as their standing is not in a good place, but I feared they would take the conversation ill. And they did. But not the whole conversation, just certain parts. Parts that I feel weren't emphasized. I wasn't trying to dissolve any relationship with them, just step back and figure it all out and keep my kids in healthy environments. And on top of it, Brian was in DC for work. Luckily I could call somebody familiar with the situation and regain a sense of okay-ness before bed.

Tuesday started out as a Good Day. I did the dishes, decluttered the kitchen counters, and got some laundry washed and dried. Alan took two good naps and one short one. Sean behaved himself during quiet time. My wonderful father- and mother-in-law came over and talked to me and played with the children - and even tidied for me. It was lovely and nice to talk to adults in person. Then that evening I found out that the person from the day before picked out parts of our conversation and shared them with another. Parts that, taken out of context as they were, could damage a relationship with the person shared with, someone I love very much. Fortunately they talked to me about what was told to them and we got it straightened out. It could have been so devastating.

So, I don't tell you this for your pity. I share this for those who know the situation well enough and would like to know how I feel about it. So they can know that there is more to the story, that it's personal and I'm still figuring out everything. I also share this for words of advice and maybe even quotes about making hard decisions during difficult times. And maybe also because I don't want others who don't know the situation completely to think ill of me.

I feel good, sad and hopeful about my decision and my reasons behind it, which are many and apparently ever-growing.

My next post will be a happy one and full of my chunky baby and crazy tw0-year old.